Bye, Bye Love.

Someone recently asked if divorce is actually detrimental to children. After some thought, the response was “No, not necessarily.”

Most children of divorced parents will admit that they were not surprised by the divorce. They remember parents fighting or not spending time together as a family. Is it often crushing when they realize that their parents will not be reconciling and getting back together? Sure, but most children just want to see their parents happy.

It’s not that children are not effected by their parents separating, but moreso that the horror stories that we often hear are actually related to what happened after the separation.  Simply put, it’s the parents.

Some thoughts on how maintain a close relationship with your children after divorce:
1. Compromise with your co-parent whenever possible;
2. Spend quality time with your children when you have them;
3. Use only positive words and tones when speaking about your co-parent especially when in the presence of the children;
4. Be careful what you post on social media;
5. Use caution when engaging in family texts because things can elevate quickly and your children should not be involved in any adult conversations or drama;
6. Do not take the advice of anyone who is not a family law attorney about what the “right” thing to do is procedurally. People often have the best intentions, but every situation is unique; and
7. Consider engaging a couples or family therapist to help guide better overall communication.