, ,

Well….



We know how much everyone loves it when we do not give a yes or no answer to their questions. Realistically, sometimes, the question can not be so easily answered. For instance, are you allowed to start dating during a divorce?

Simple answer- yes.
Real answer- maybe. It depends on the totality of the circumstances and the real question is whether you *should* date.

To hear our thoughts on the matter, please check out our reel on Instagram:
https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.instagram.com_reel_DYmyt9Fy1sG_-3Figsh-3DdXg5dGt2d2lpdTZr&d=DwICAg&c=euGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A_CdpgnVfiiMM&r=Mj7fry4mBudBr0hy3UVW0IW5LjHPEM6DJMVrLmFkfx8&m=msBHRg7CxO6Upp6O4Wbl3bdTQ3NNx6G69pX5kD9ah6x4ldyWv0Xn7EylA7OHyxpj&s=ErN1Ivd5RpNJPKBspkvo0LgM2R839-5usFn0hvoF3zs&e=


Or Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1JCBmcYomQ/?mibextid=wwXIfr

As always, we are grateful for your support of and trust in us for the most personal aspects of your life.

Regards,
John & Faye

/by
, ,

Lifestyle Matters.

Lifestyle choices amongst couples can be SO different; sometimes the decisions made are directly related to income, but other times it is a conscious choice of how the couple wishes to handle their finances.

Massachusetts Probate and Family Courts made a ruling which provides clarification as to how alimony may be calculated based upon lifestyle Openshaw v. Openshaw, 493 Mass. 599 (2024). In Openshaw, the court determined that a spouse receiving alimony may be entitled to an order which includes a savings component IF the couple previously focused on building a retirement portfolio rather than spending. This ruling expands the definition of “need” in determining an appropriate amount of alimony. Factors include:
1. Consistent contributions to savings or retirement during the marriage and the reasonable expectation that it would continue in the future; and
2. The ability of the payor to continue to fund the savings or retirement post- divorce.

The ruling has generally been well received, as it is intended to equalize post divorce standards of living. As always, we’re curious whether you think of this decision.

/by
, ,

Never a Doubt (fire).



Robin Williams was unquestionably one of the most memorable personalities of our time. His roles in Mork & Mindy, Good Will Hunting, Jumanji, Dead Poet’s Society and Mrs. Doubtfire were iconic.

We have no idea how many times we’ve seen Mrs. Doubtfire, but when we recently fell upon it, something hit differently. For the first time, we couldn’t help but reflect on the last couple of years of practice, packed with so many parents who really just wanted to parent. Historically, a good number of our clients have been focused on the financial aspect, but recently it’s been more on parenting rather than paying (which makes us SO happy).

Mrs. Doubtfire showcased the extreme desperation that some of our have been feeling about the potential of losing time with their children. Have any of them taken on a whole new persona with hopes of preserving their rights? Not that we know of, but we have definitely witnessed people act out of character for themselves.

We could come up with a billion reasons why child custody matters have become more intense, but we suspect that it is related to the “information” available online. We suspect that some people watch a 20 second reel on how to manipulate a situation without truly understanding the long term application or how it might effect their children.

In reality, when the dust settles and emotions dissipate, things usually turn out as they should. The hatred and vigor that the parties held for one another is replaced by returned focus on effective communication and co-parenting.

/by
, , ,

Ozzy.


We recently asked on our Facebook page for suggestions of songs that might inspire a newsletter and someone suggested Mama I’m Coming Home by Ozzy Osbourne. What a great song and excellent suggestion!

Our minds immediately started going in different directions. Rather than focus on just one of the topics, we’re going to share the variety of thoughts that we had when we started pondering what to write.

Our first thought was directly related to the person who offered the suggestion and who happens to be an adoptive parent. We are fully aware that the song is not about adoption; however, when we read the comment, we could “hear” little voices, excited to find their forever home with their Mama.
We believe that the intended meaning of the song is related to being welcomed “home” after significant personal struggle, including addiction and infidelity. So often, we see couples struggle to figure out how to rebuild a relationship and regain some level of trust. Some couples can work through it, but not always. It’s a personal decision, but one that we see clients struggle with all the time.
There is a very fine line between “how was your visit” and “tell me everything that you did” when a child returns home from parenting time. While the linguistic difference may be slight, there is a different, understated tone that can create stress for a child or the imply intrusiveness by a co-parent. Believe it or not, this is one of the most frequently discussed reasons for frustration amongst co-parents and the primary reason that parenting classes exist.*
Of course, there is the reality of Ozzy’s health; clearly, Ozzy is not well and his quality of life is quite poor. We suspect that the song took on a deeper meaning last week, whether religious or spiritual, as he returned home after his last performance ever and looked towards his final days.

/by
, ,

The Rain.

Hear us out on this one: songs about breakups and cheating are some of the most popular and best ever written. If you so a simple online search, the lists are endless.

“The Rain”  by  Oran Juice Jones came on a few days ago and it was an instant catapult back to middle school.  Although it is probably not one of the greatest songs of all time, it was definitely an anthem in the 80’s:

While listening (and singing really badly), the adult, family law attorney kicked in and started thinking about all of the great songs written about infidelity. Here are some of our favorite songs (in no specific order) about cheating on your spouse:

1. Jolene by Dolly Parton
2. Girl Crush by Little Big Town
3. Lucille by Kenny Rogers
4. Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood
5. It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy
6.  Hit ’em up Style by Blu Cantrell
7. You Ought to Know by Alanis Morissette
8. Cry Me a River by Justin Timberlake
9. Creep by TLC
10.  You Know I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse

Which is your favorite on the list above and in general? You know we love to be introduced to new music!

/by