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Do Not Pass(port)

I  forgot.
I’ll get to it later.
I don’t have the money.
The money is being used to pay a mortgage, not for my kid.*
My co-parent doesn’t need the money/ they make enough/ more than me.

We’ve heard it ALL. People love to talk about why they didn’t pay their child support obligation. Realistically, most excuses are exactly that, rather than legitimate reasons.

Affordability is a legitimate concern and reason for many people. Life is expensive for sure; however, in our experience, the majority of people who make this statement to us have financial priorities other than their children.

Imagine this scenario**: Our client offered a combination excuse of can’t afford it, ex makes more than me and that he would get around to paying “at some point.” He then posted photos on social media of two (2) nights at Taylor Swift concert in Las Vegas, both shows with very good seats. A conservative guestimate of the cost of this trip would be $5000-$8000, depending on the hotel, travel, and general length of stay (not including whether you are traveling with someone else who may or may not be sharing the expenses).

We see things like this all-the-time. We can almost guarantee that the co-parent will somehow find out and will share a screenshot of the adventures with the court. Usually, it does not end well for the person has prioritzed things other than a child support obligation.

The Federal government now is protecting against this type of situation. Going forward, passports will not be issued if there is $2,500.00 or more due in arrears for child support and existing ones may be revoked:

https://travel.state.gov/en/passports/contact-support/legal-matters/child-support.html

How this development is enforced is super interesting to us. We expect that individuals will be judged on a case by case basis, but also that the threat of contempt allegations to skyrocket as the result.

As always, please let us know how we best serve you!

Warm regards,
John & Faye
* Making sure that your child has a place to live is important!
** Yes, this really happened and, yes, it was during the Eras tour when “bad” seats were easily $1,000.00 each.

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The BEST Legal Advice You’ll Ever Get (and it’s free)!

We pride ourselves on generally being pretty positive people. We try to smile more than growl and use honey rather than daggers. Sometimes, it is our own clients who bring us to the edge of sanity. Inspired by a friend who suggested this, some ideas on how to not to upset your attorney*:

1. Know the facts of your case. If you do not know the facts, we won’t and cannot make strong representations on your behalf.
2. Be consistent in overall goals. Don’t keep changing your mind on what you want to achieve, because your case will definately take longer to resolve.
3. Flexibility leads to resolution. Understand that your perception is your reality, but the same is also true for the other side. The truth and the solution are often somewhere in the middle.
4. Always tell us the full story without omissions or lies. We are likely going to find out the rest of the story at some point, so better that we can be properly prepared ahead of time.
5. Understand that we have other clients and personal lives, so it might take a hot minute to return your call or email. As the kids say, don’t
“spam call” us. We will get back to you when we are able and within a reasonable amount of time (usually 24 hours unless it’s a holiday or weekend).
6.  Ghosting is fun on Halloween but not when we’re trying to move your case forward. Respond and let us know that you’re gathering information or cannot provide an answer at that moment.
7. Keep your private life private. Do not vent or brag about your life on social media. We cannot tell you how many times we have discovered that a party, who is six (6) months behind on child support took a luxurious trip or bought a new, expensive car. The attorneys will eventually uncover the information and, at minimial, will probably need to spend some time discussing it.
8 Maintain authentic documents. Altering, removing or deleting portions of an email or text can compromise your credibility, but also compromises our ability to properly argue your case.
9. This is not our first rodeo so trust our advice. Over the years, we have noticed that our clients with the largest legal bills are often the ones who keep asking the same questions over and over or ignore our advice. We have had similar cases in the past and know how the case will likely be resolved.
10. Pay your bill. We understand that legal expenses can be high, but you’re paying for our expertise and our time. Similarly, understand that it does take time to review documents, especially if it includes thousands of pages (and, yes, we will read all of them).
11. Prepare for court by providing requested documentation, dressing appropriately and being on time.
12. Understand what differentiates between an actual “emergency” and what is important to you. We do prioritze our cases and that order changes sometimes by the minute. In the event that there is a real emergency, the first call should usually be to the police, not us. One of us has a blackbelt and the other is 5’2″ but neither of us are coming to home to kick your ex’s butt if they are breaking into your home.
13. Remember that we are not your therapist or best friend. It’s not to say that we don’t love a good story or joke (and we DO), but our role is legal guidance.

In the words of Miranda Priestly, “that’s all.” We’re pretty easy and are always happy to work with you to help you achieve your goals. As always, please let us know how we can best help you!

Warm regards,
John & Faye

* Shoutout to our friends @Fun Enterprises for the (positive) inspiration for this newsletter!

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Well….



We know how much everyone loves it when we do not give a yes or no answer to their questions. Realistically, sometimes, the question can not be so easily answered. For instance, are you allowed to start dating during a divorce?

Simple answer- yes.
Real answer- maybe. It depends on the totality of the circumstances and the real question is whether you *should* date.

To hear our thoughts on the matter, please check out our reel on Instagram:
https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.instagram.com_reel_DYmyt9Fy1sG_-3Figsh-3DdXg5dGt2d2lpdTZr&d=DwICAg&c=euGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A_CdpgnVfiiMM&r=Mj7fry4mBudBr0hy3UVW0IW5LjHPEM6DJMVrLmFkfx8&m=msBHRg7CxO6Upp6O4Wbl3bdTQ3NNx6G69pX5kD9ah6x4ldyWv0Xn7EylA7OHyxpj&s=ErN1Ivd5RpNJPKBspkvo0LgM2R839-5usFn0hvoF3zs&e=


Or Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1JCBmcYomQ/?mibextid=wwXIfr

As always, we are grateful for your support of and trust in us for the most personal aspects of your life.

Regards,
John & Faye

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Lifestyle Matters.

Lifestyle choices amongst couples can be SO different; sometimes the decisions made are directly related to income, but other times it is a conscious choice of how the couple wishes to handle their finances.

Massachusetts Probate and Family Courts made a ruling which provides clarification as to how alimony may be calculated based upon lifestyle Openshaw v. Openshaw, 493 Mass. 599 (2024). In Openshaw, the court determined that a spouse receiving alimony may be entitled to an order which includes a savings component IF the couple previously focused on building a retirement portfolio rather than spending. This ruling expands the definition of “need” in determining an appropriate amount of alimony. Factors include:
1. Consistent contributions to savings or retirement during the marriage and the reasonable expectation that it would continue in the future; and
2. The ability of the payor to continue to fund the savings or retirement post- divorce.

The ruling has generally been well received, as it is intended to equalize post divorce standards of living. As always, we’re curious whether you think of this decision.

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Never a Doubt (fire).



Robin Williams was unquestionably one of the most memorable personalities of our time. His roles in Mork & Mindy, Good Will Hunting, Jumanji, Dead Poet’s Society and Mrs. Doubtfire were iconic.

We have no idea how many times we’ve seen Mrs. Doubtfire, but when we recently fell upon it, something hit differently. For the first time, we couldn’t help but reflect on the last couple of years of practice, packed with so many parents who really just wanted to parent. Historically, a good number of our clients have been focused on the financial aspect, but recently it’s been more on parenting rather than paying (which makes us SO happy).

Mrs. Doubtfire showcased the extreme desperation that some of our have been feeling about the potential of losing time with their children. Have any of them taken on a whole new persona with hopes of preserving their rights? Not that we know of, but we have definitely witnessed people act out of character for themselves.

We could come up with a billion reasons why child custody matters have become more intense, but we suspect that it is related to the “information” available online. We suspect that some people watch a 20 second reel on how to manipulate a situation without truly understanding the long term application or how it might effect their children.

In reality, when the dust settles and emotions dissipate, things usually turn out as they should. The hatred and vigor that the parties held for one another is replaced by returned focus on effective communication and co-parenting.

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