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Well….



We know how much everyone loves it when we do not give a yes or no answer to their questions. Realistically, sometimes, the question can not be so easily answered. For instance, are you allowed to start dating during a divorce?

Simple answer- yes.
Real answer- maybe. It depends on the totality of the circumstances and the real question is whether you *should* date.

To hear our thoughts on the matter, please check out our reel on Instagram:
https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.instagram.com_reel_DYmyt9Fy1sG_-3Figsh-3DdXg5dGt2d2lpdTZr&d=DwICAg&c=euGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A_CdpgnVfiiMM&r=Mj7fry4mBudBr0hy3UVW0IW5LjHPEM6DJMVrLmFkfx8&m=msBHRg7CxO6Upp6O4Wbl3bdTQ3NNx6G69pX5kD9ah6x4ldyWv0Xn7EylA7OHyxpj&s=ErN1Ivd5RpNJPKBspkvo0LgM2R839-5usFn0hvoF3zs&e=


Or Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1JCBmcYomQ/?mibextid=wwXIfr

As always, we are grateful for your support of and trust in us for the most personal aspects of your life.

Regards,
John & Faye

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Lifestyle Matters.

Lifestyle choices amongst couples can be SO different; sometimes the decisions made are directly related to income, but other times it is a conscious choice of how the couple wishes to handle their finances.

Massachusetts Probate and Family Courts made a ruling which provides clarification as to how alimony may be calculated based upon lifestyle Openshaw v. Openshaw, 493 Mass. 599 (2024). In Openshaw, the court determined that a spouse receiving alimony may be entitled to an order which includes a savings component IF the couple previously focused on building a retirement portfolio rather than spending. This ruling expands the definition of “need” in determining an appropriate amount of alimony. Factors include:
1. Consistent contributions to savings or retirement during the marriage and the reasonable expectation that it would continue in the future; and
2. The ability of the payor to continue to fund the savings or retirement post- divorce.

The ruling has generally been well received, as it is intended to equalize post divorce standards of living. As always, we’re curious whether you think of this decision.

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You Get What You Get



AI is quickly changing the dynamics and expectations of many professional relationships. More than ever, we have recently been receiving inquires from our clients about information that they found online. Our first response is always, please let us know how your phrased your inquiry. Depending on how they phrased the question, the answer may be totally inaccurate or incomplete. Even when the answer is fairly accurate, AI does not take into account any personal, specific, often important details, of the individual case. AI also does not provide the perspective of any professional based on experience and (in our case) how that law really applies.

While writing this newsletter, we posed multiple inquires of a seemingly simple question, “What is pink?” Depending on which AI tool was used and how the question was framed, the answer was slightly different: some discussed the range of color, others the symbolism, as well as references to the singer and popular clothing line. Overall, there was no consistency in the answers and changing the language in the question even slightly changed the response generated.

We have recently heard that certain AI platforms will be limiting legal advice and we’re thrilled. We challenge you to look up “Does AI give legal advice?” When you scroll down, the overview answer (as of the day that this was written) is that it provides accurate advice 34% of the time. To us, the platform seems more detrimental than helpful especially where an informed user might assume that the content is accurate and, in our opinion, the only thing worse than no knowledge is incorrect knowledge.

We are not trying to tell you never to use AI; the platform definitely has it’s positives and uses. If you decide to use AI, you should be doing so with an abundance of caution and extremely careful regarding input of information. Simply put: you get what you get.

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The Rain.

Hear us out on this one: songs about breakups and cheating are some of the most popular and best ever written. If you so a simple online search, the lists are endless.

“The Rain”  by  Oran Juice Jones came on a few days ago and it was an instant catapult back to middle school.  Although it is probably not one of the greatest songs of all time, it was definitely an anthem in the 80’s:

While listening (and singing really badly), the adult, family law attorney kicked in and started thinking about all of the great songs written about infidelity. Here are some of our favorite songs (in no specific order) about cheating on your spouse:

1. Jolene by Dolly Parton
2. Girl Crush by Little Big Town
3. Lucille by Kenny Rogers
4. Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood
5. It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy
6.  Hit ’em up Style by Blu Cantrell
7. You Ought to Know by Alanis Morissette
8. Cry Me a River by Justin Timberlake
9. Creep by TLC
10.  You Know I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse

Which is your favorite on the list above and in general? You know we love to be introduced to new music!

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Bye, Bye Love.

Someone recently asked if divorce is actually detrimental to children. After some thought, the response was “No, not necessarily.”

Most children of divorced parents will admit that they were not surprised by the divorce. They remember parents fighting or not spending time together as a family. Is it often crushing when they realize that their parents will not be reconciling and getting back together? Sure, but most children just want to see their parents happy.

It’s not that children are not effected by their parents separating, but moreso that the horror stories that we often hear are actually related to what happened after the separation.  Simply put, it’s the parents.

Some thoughts on how maintain a close relationship with your children after divorce:
1. Compromise with your co-parent whenever possible;
2. Spend quality time with your children when you have them;
3. Use only positive words and tones when speaking about your co-parent especially when in the presence of the children;
4. Be careful what you post on social media;
5. Use caution when engaging in family texts because things can elevate quickly and your children should not be involved in any adult conversations or drama;
6. Do not take the advice of anyone who is not a family law attorney about what the “right” thing to do is procedurally. People often have the best intentions, but every situation is unique; and
7. Consider engaging a couples or family therapist to help guide better overall communication.

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