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Truth.

I recently read Good to Great (2001) by Jim Collins.  Although the book is geared towards corporate executives, the messages can be carried into any career or life, in general. Some of the highlights are as follows:
1.” Great leaders combine tremendous personal humility with unwavering professional resolve;”
2.  “Companies that are trying to become great must force themselves to confront brutal facts and difficult realities in order to address them;” and
3. “The transformation from good to great does not come in a dramatic swoop or sudden action.”

I recently participated in a creative writing class. During that class, we had a discussion about humility as an essential aspect of being genuine.  Whether in business or in every day life, we tend to trust people who can admit when they are wrong or need assistance, because we, ourselves, are not perfect or indestructible.  During the class, I couldn’t help but also reflect on the book.

When I first started to practice law in December, 2004, I was over confident. While in law school, I had worked for as a student district attorney and for some amazing attorneys; of course, I thought that I knew everything that there is to know about practicing.

On the very first day that my practice was open, I received a referral from a close law school friend. Opposing counsel on the case was one of the most prominent attorneys in Boston, who (literally) started practicing before I was born. Within a month, I felt out of my league; while my experience was great, it was not that of a seasoned attorney. The brutal truth of admitting to myself that I had failed at being instantly brilliant was painful. Only once I admitted that I was lost could I truly ask for help and grow in to who I am eleven years later.

Sometimes the truth is painful, but it can be the gateway from good to great.

**This newsletter is dedicated to Lisa Hutchison, who taught the creative writing seminar and colleagues who never make me feel foolish.**

 

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I know a couple in their early 90’s. For over 30 years, they have identified themselves to friends, family, and the community as “Mr. & Mrs.*”

Mr. & Mrs. recently asked me to help them with the sale of their home. When I looked at their current Deed, there were two names listed, but they did not share a last name. Of course, I inquired as to whether Mrs. had changed her name at some point, including after the house was purchased. Mrs. told me that she had never changed her name legally after they were married.

After some additional inquiry, Mr. & Mrs. stated to me that they are common law spouses. They told me that they were wed in a ceremony performed by a friend, who was not an actual, registered officiant, and never obtained a marriage license. I found myself in the unfortunate position of needing to explain to them that while they are a loving, committed couple, Mr. & Mrs. are not actually married within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Mr. & Mrs. do not have any of the legal protections offered by the Commonwealth for married couples. Sadly, they both appeared surprised by and unprepared to handle the reality of their prior decisions.

This situation is not all that uncommon, especially among individuals who want to preserve existing entitlements or pension benefits; however, there is a way to protect yourself without getting married: Massachusetts recognizes Cohabitation Agreements, which outline how legal, personal, and financial matters will be handled if the couple breaks up or a partner dies. Similarly, some basic estate planning may also resolve some of the legal issues that committed couples, who are not married, face.

As always, please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about this or anything else.
 * While this article refers to “Mr. & Mrs.,” the term is being used generically to include both the traditional marriage arrangements, as well as “Mr. & Mr.” and “Mrs. & Mrs.”

North Attleboro Plainville Wrentham Bristol Norfolk Real estate child support custody divorce real estate homestead title insurance Attleboro lawyer legal law office modification contempt estate plan planning will power of attorney old republic title company living will Norton Franklin Bellingham Canton Easton Marin School Association Representative Town Meeting Junior League of Boston Contractor Disputes Personal Injury Landlord Tenant  Deed paternity South Attleboro Cub Scout pack 65

I love heroes. Veterans, teachers, police officers, and fireman do a job that I am not brave enough to do myself. I’m so pleased to announce that I offer a discount on legal services to all HEROES. Please call or email for details.

Not everyone feels merry or bright during the holidays.For everyone who needs a laugh and those who just like to, I offer the following article which will, hopefully, make you smile: The Strangest 50 State Laws That Still Exist.

http://www.ijreview.com/2014/12/222618-50-state-laws/

My personal favorite is Georgia; what’s yours?

Happy Holidays!

North Attleboro Plainville Wrentham Bristol Norfolk Real estate child support custody divorce real estate homestead title insurance Attleboro lawyer legal law office modification contempt estate plan planning will power of attorney old republic title company living will Norton Franklin Bellingham Canton Easton Marin School Association Representative Town Meeting Junior League of Boston Contractor Disputes Personal Injury Landlord Tenant  Deed paternity South Attleboro Cub Scout pack 65

 

People who know me know well are going to think it is hilarious that I am writing this newsletter. I’m generally not a big fan of reality television, with the only exception being Shark Tank, which I loved even before a friend was on it last year, but even moreso since. However, sometimes reality personalities become part of mainstream news and discussion.

Lamar Odom, former NBA player and reality personality, has been all over the news lately. I know very little about him or his family, but I have been asked several times, within the last week, to explain how divorce papers can be signed, yet they are not divorced and his Wife can still make health care decisions on his behalf. To the best of my knowledge, California has jurisdiction over their marriage. I am not a California attorney.

Massachusetts requires several events to occur prior to granting a divorce. A Complaint for Divorce initiates the process; it is a document that is filed with the Court, either by one party or jointly.

Parties must exchange financial information. Both spouses present a financial statement, which summarizes expenses, assets, income, and liability. They also provide three (3) years of taxes, investments, and bank statements. Often the information is the same for both spouses, but not always. Sometimes, more information is requested, especially if one spouse is self employed.

Once financial disclosures have been made, the bulk of negotiations begin. Parties can often come to an agreement about how to divide marital assets and liabilities, whether alimony is necessary, as well as the care and custody of minor children. If the parties cannot agree on one or all issues, court intervention is available. If the parties can agree on the issues, a Separation Agreement is created and signed by both spouses.

My limited understanding is that the Kardashian-Odom process is or was at this point in the process. For that reason, they are still married and marital privileges, such as decision making power, are still in effect.

Parties need to actually present their Separation Agreement to the Court prior to obtaining a divorce. A judge will review the document for fairness and may ask the parties some questions. If the judge determines the document to be fair and entered into without coercion or pressure, a Judgment of Divorce is ordered. Most people feel as though they are divorced at this point, but they are not until a Judgment of Divorce Nisi is entered.

Massachusetts has a Nisi period which lasts for 90 days. The intent of the statute is to allow the parties to cool off and reconsider reconciliation. In most cases, this period is unremarkable and the parties become divorced.

North Attleboro Plainville Wrentham Bristol Norfolk Real estate child support custody divorce real estate homestead title insurance Attleboro lawyer legal law office modification contempt estate plan planning will power of attorney old republic title company living will Norton Franklin Bellingham Canton Easton Marin School Association Representative Town Meeting Junior League of Boston Contractor Disputes Personal Injury Landlord Tenant  Deed paternity South Attleboro Cub Scout pack 65