,

Civility.

Rhianna & Eminem;
President Regan & Tip O’Neil;
Oscar & Felix;
Snoop and Martha;
Balboa and Creed; and
RBG & Scalia.

We love unexpected friendships and ones that do not necessarily “make sense.”  We have two (2) theories on why these friendships exist:

1. The individuals involved overlook their differences and focus on their similarities; and
2. They appreciate their differences and are open to learning from one another.

One day in 2016, just as the extreme division in our country was becoming more even more evident, someone extended an invitation to engage in an open, candid conversation regarding politics and the overall state of the world.  Although perspectives and beliefs were fairly different, we spoke for hours, exchanging facts, experiences, feelings and perspectives. It is impossible to not recognize how rare these conversations are in the modern world and that is potentially one of the greatest differences between us and our forefathers.

Fast forward to July 17, 2024, just days after a former President of the United States survived an attempted assassination.  It is questionable whether calls for civility have been heard as key board warriors are still active and vicious personal attacks are still in effect.

How many of us can say that we have not lost friends over politics in the last 10-15 years? It is often not the actual difference in opinion, but moreso the inability to engage with an open mind, combined with a general lack of respect or common civility. 

One of the most beautiful, legendary friendships of all times is RBG and Scalia. We happen to post this newsletter a few years back about their friendship:
https://wjslegal.com/category/news/page/2/

If you have read to the end of this newsletter, THANK YOU.  We challenge you to think jump out of your own box, listen to commentators who you typically disagree with and to watch both “On the Basis of Sex” and  “Hillbilly Elegy.”*  

As always, we would love to hear from you regarding this or other matters. 

Warm regards,
Faye & John

** We are in our (Siskel and) Ebert era… both films are currently streaming on a major service and are EXCELLENT.

/by
,

Stuck With You.

Can you imagine purposefully living with your ex after you’ve separated? It’s not uncommon for couples to live together during the separation process, but cohabitation after the divorce is final has historically been very rare.

Prior to Covid, we can remember only one couple that lived together post divorce. The husband wanted to keep the marital home but he was unable to buy out the Wife’s share of the equity at the time of the divorce; typically, in this type of situation, the home would have typically been listed for sale but the wife graciously agreed to wait until after her 99 year old father in law, who also lived there, passed or was otherwise relocated. *

While this type of situation is still very rare, some couples do consider some form of cohabitation post-divorce. We recently worked on an agreement where the parties alternated use of the marital home depending on who had parenting time. We’ve also created agreements for parents who intend to live together so that they both could be physically present on a daily basis. While we always love the idea of providing a united front to the children and keeping things are “normal” as possible, we haven’t found any research to support whether these situations are actually in the best interest of the children.

If parties are going to even consider cohabitation post-divorce, there need to be some well established ground rules. How long will this arrangement last? What happens if one person decides that they no longer wish to cohabitate or wants to buy out the other? Who is covering each specific household expense? Who will be responsible for household chores? Will one parent be paying child support during the cohabitation period? Will they be able to problem solve and communicate better once divorced? What will happen when one person starts to date?**

There are a multitude of reasons that people consider cohabitation post-divorce, including:
1. The transition from a two income household is not always easily manageable if both parties are not self sufficient (with or without child support or alimony);
2. One party may have credit issues which may effect their ability to buy or rent; OR
3. Suitable housing may be difficult to find, especially if a person is hoping to remain in the same school district or needs an apartment with more than two (2) bedrooms.

While these reasons (and others) are certainly understandable, the traditional options are still the default: either you list the house for sale or one party buys out the other by giving them a portion of the equity in the marital home.

As always, we welcome your thoughts our newsletter or answer any questions!

Regards,
Faye & John



* In this case, waiting actually increased the value of her equity in the home due to the spike in home values during this period.

** Do you remember this scene from The Break Up? Ironically, this is probably the least uncomfortable and complex situation that might occur:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoXW_FZtCO4

/by
,

Hi. I’m Batman.

 

Much to our disappointment, we are not actually Batman and Robin. We do not have x-ray vision, we can’t fly and we also can’t shoot webs at people to stop them in their tracks. Unfortunately, a “Power of Attorney*” has nothing to do with having super hero powers; it does, however, allow people to help you in your time of need.

Most people think about a Power of Attorney only being active when you are unable to handle matters on your own; to the contrary, it can be used when you don’t want to handle matters on your own. Think about these typical situations:

1. You have a financial account but you partner, daughter or nephew is more financially savvy than you. If you give the financial institution your executed document and a quick verbal confirmation that the document is still active, they are able to engage in conversations or perform transactions on your behalf.**
2. Your child reaches the age of 18. If you were to call your child’s college or university to discuss something, even tuition payments, the administration has no obligation to talk with you. Similar to above, an executed Power of Attorney and quick confirmation will allow for communication to occur between you and the administration.
3. Selling a house. This situation is usually slightly different because a Limited Power of Attorney is typically used rather than a “durable” one. The limited version only allows the person to help you for specific purpose rather than a more broad ability. We routinely have our sellers sign a Limited Power of Attorney so that we can sign closing documents on their behalf.

As always, please let us know if you have any questions or concerns about this or any other matter.

Warm regards,
John & Faye

* This refers to a Durable Power of Attorney.
** This can also be accomplished by having the person listed as a co-owner of an account; however, once the person is a co-owner, they also have inheritance rights to that account.

/by
, ,

Median, Mode and Range.

ong, long ago, we were in a graduate school statistics class* as a precursor to beginning a Master’s thesis study. The most important take away from the class was understanding that how you manipulate numbers determines whether your hypothesis is supported or disproven. Whether by median, mode or average, we still love to look at data and determine how to best use it to our client’s advantage. We recently found some some statistics related to divorce** that we thought would be fun to share:

1. The divorce rate has dropped significantly over the years last 10-15 years. While it was previously thought that you had a 50% chance of getting a divorce, the current rate is thought to be around 39%. The reason for the decline could be due to so many things, including millennials getting married later or not at all.
2. Nevada continues to have the highest divorce rate in the United States. Apparently, what happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas and regret does fit in a suitcase.
3. Massachusetts actually has one of the lower rates of divorce in the United States. It is thought that the divorce rate within the Commonwealth is approximately 2.6%; however, this statistic is slightly skewed because some states, including Georgia, Hawaii and Minnesota do not even report their statistics.
5. The global divorce rate has increased by 252% since the 1960’s. Russia is believed to have the highest divorce rate in the world; it seems reasonable that it will continue to maintain that top spot given the stress related to recent world events.
6. Second (and any thereafter) are more likely to fail than a first marriage. We often ponder if people who are married more than twice are really just hopeless romantics who aspire, but struggle to find ever lasting love.

/by