Bye, Bye Love.

Someone recently asked if divorce is actually detrimental to children. After some thought, the response was “No, not necessarily.”

Most children of divorced parents will admit that they were not surprised by the divorce. They remember parents fighting or not spending time together as a family. Is it often crushing when they realize that their parents will not be reconciling and getting back together? Sure, but most children just want to see their parents happy.

It’s not that children are not effected by their parents separating, but moreso that the horror stories that we often hear are actually related to what happened after the separation.  Simply put, it’s the parents.

Some thoughts on how maintain a close relationship with your children after divorce:
1. Compromise with your co-parent whenever possible;
2. Spend quality time with your children when you have them;
3. Use only positive words and tones when speaking about your co-parent especially when in the presence of the children;
4. Be careful what you post on social media;
5. Use caution when engaging in family texts because things can elevate quickly and your children should not be involved in any adult conversations or drama;
6. Do not take the advice of anyone who is not a family law attorney about what the “right” thing to do is procedurally. People often have the best intentions, but every situation is unique; and
7. Consider engaging a couples or family therapist to help guide better overall communication.

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Last Name.

It started off “Hey cutie, where you from?”And then it turned into “Oh no! What have I done?”And I don’t even know my last name….
-Carrie Underwood

Annulments are rare. In approximately 20 years of practice, we’ve done one annulment. One.

When an annulment is granted, it is as though the marriage never existed. In the Commonwealth of Massachusetts,  at least one the allegations must be proven for an annulment to be granted:
1. Bigamy;
2. Consanguinity;
3. Fraud;
4. Duress in the inducement to get married;
5. Impotence or known lack of ability to have children (with a representation to the contrary);
6. Mental incapacity , which can include being excessively intoxicated:

7. Being under age at the time of marriage.

Where an annulment voids a marriage, it is possible that an individual can represent themselves as never married. We are always curious whether people who get a marriage annulled even disclose their previous situation to a future spouse.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Do you agree with the idea of annulment in principle? Do you think that a person should have to list an annulled marriage on an application for a future marriage license?

 

 

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Cheetah.



Rewind to about two weeks ago…. pick number three in a draft for a fantasy football league… 60 seconds to make a final decision…

Conventional wisdom would go for Hill but something kept telling me to go for CeeDee Lamb. Given Tyreek’s off the field reputation, my co-owner and I had been discussing for a few days how we felt about drafting him, given the strong potential that he could would not be on the field at some point due to unpredictable legal issues.

Fast forward to the first game of the season and a few hours before kickoff, video started to circulate of Tyreek Hill on the ground, in handcuffs. Selfishly, there was a moment of panic that Tyreek was not playing, but he made it to the field with plenty of time prior to kickoff.

As it often does, sports has provided an opportunity to turn this into a teachable moment in several ways:
1. One my kids did not previously understand that a traffic infraction is not “trafficking.” Big difference there. Apparently, that language distinction was not clear within his friend group text (probably Snap) chain so hopefully they all now understand the distinction.
2. There is also a difference between being “detained” and being “arrested.” When someone is detained, they are being held temporarily, usually for the police to calm a or take charge of a situation; however, the event does not necessarily lead to an arrest or criminal charges. When someone is arrested, they have been charged with a criminal act and will likely be prosecuted. Unless criminal charges follow at some point, Cheetah was merely detained.
3. Life is messy and there is not always an easy answer. There are always two sides to the story and, often, we have to piece together a puzzle. Since the event, the dash cam footage has provided more insight into the event:
Miami-Dade police release body-cam footage of Tyreek Hill being handcuffed and detained (youtube.com).

As always, we are happy to answer any questions that you might have regarding this newsletter or any other legal matters.

Regards,
Faye & John

* This newsletter is dedicated to the Twins, who beat us in the first week. From the basement to the top of the mountain, ladies!

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Civility.

Rhianna & Eminem;
President Regan & Tip O’Neil;
Oscar & Felix;
Snoop and Martha;
Balboa and Creed; and
RBG & Scalia.

We love unexpected friendships and ones that do not necessarily “make sense.”  We have two (2) theories on why these friendships exist:

1. The individuals involved overlook their differences and focus on their similarities; and
2. They appreciate their differences and are open to learning from one another.

One day in 2016, just as the extreme division in our country was becoming more even more evident, someone extended an invitation to engage in an open, candid conversation regarding politics and the overall state of the world.  Although perspectives and beliefs were fairly different, we spoke for hours, exchanging facts, experiences, feelings and perspectives. It is impossible to not recognize how rare these conversations are in the modern world and that is potentially one of the greatest differences between us and our forefathers.

Fast forward to July 17, 2024, just days after a former President of the United States survived an attempted assassination.  It is questionable whether calls for civility have been heard as key board warriors are still active and vicious personal attacks are still in effect.

How many of us can say that we have not lost friends over politics in the last 10-15 years? It is often not the actual difference in opinion, but moreso the inability to engage with an open mind, combined with a general lack of respect or common civility. 

One of the most beautiful, legendary friendships of all times is RBG and Scalia. We happen to post this newsletter a few years back about their friendship:
https://wjslegal.com/category/news/page/2/

If you have read to the end of this newsletter, THANK YOU.  We challenge you to think jump out of your own box, listen to commentators who you typically disagree with and to watch both “On the Basis of Sex” and  “Hillbilly Elegy.”*  

As always, we would love to hear from you regarding this or other matters. 

Warm regards,
Faye & John

** We are in our (Siskel and) Ebert era… both films are currently streaming on a major service and are EXCELLENT.

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