What a long century 2020 and early 2021 have been. Since Covid entered our lives approximately a year ago, we have all changed some aspect of our thinking and our behaviors. Some people have become genuinely more compassionate while others struggle with unbearable of levels of anxiety and depression. Many have focused on ordering (and tipping) on take out from local resturants or supporting small, local businesses.  Most of us have missed life events, like graduations, bar mitzvahs and weddings which have been replaced by smaller, more intimate ceremonies which might only allow for remote attendance.

One of the most interesting aspects of smaller weddings is the focus on the marriage, rather than the event; we have often said that doing this would actually decrease the divorce rate, because marriage is about so much more than a gorgeous dress.  We have noticed that more engaged couples seem to be spending their time having real, meaningful conversations about what being married means and establishing a plan for their life together.

Many couples don’t really discuss the real details life and future together before they got married; did you?

A lot of people will answer no to that question. I asked someone yesterday and he responded that they discussed that they both thought important that she stay home and raise their children but that seemed to be the extent of where the conversation ended.

As we have said often and consistently, prenuptial agreements are one of our favorite types of matters to handle. It is fascinating to observe as they navigate cooperation and negotiation, both of which are essential for a successful marriage. Among the topics that we typically challenge them to ponder and discuss:

  • Existing debt, including school loans or mortgages;
  • Credit scores;
  • Trust fund from which they draw income and  what they do with those funds;
  • Allocation of  household expenses;
  • If there will be children, expectation about private verus public schools and if someone will stay home to raise them or use day care;
  • Purchase or leasing of autombiles (ie cash, financing, type, frequency);
  • Future hope of travel (ie the cost of an annual trip weeklong trip to Maine is very different than a month in Europe);
  • Annual income;
  • Annual expenses;
  • Current savings, checking and investments;
  • Theory on investing (ie. Is one a risk taker and the other more conservative?);
  • Theory on saving (ie Does one like to spend and the other likes to save?); and
  • Comparison of health insurance plans regarding the cost availability for the spouse and children.

There are other things to consider as well, including some found in this article:
25 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married (msn.com)

As always, please feel free to contact us if we can assist you in any way.

Warm regards,
John & Faye

 

 

 

 

 

 

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